Sasuke's Homecoming
by imanokie01
Summary: Sasuke returns home and is shocked by Sakura’s devotion to him. Or maybe it’s lack there of. SasukexSakuraxItachi and not in a threesome kinda way people. R&R. Enjoy.


Having finally returned to Konoha after being a missing Nin for seven years, Sasuke Uchiha, the last sane Uchiha, at least as far as he was concerned, decided that his first order of business upon being freed from all charges by the Hokage stupid dobe was to go home and get some much needed rest and relaxation. Sasuke slid the front door to the Uchiha manor open and instantly went on alert. He could tell someone was in his home and he was very curious as to who had the nerve to break into his house. He'd just have to show them who was "The Uchiha" now wouldn't he?

Several possibilities ran through his mind as to who the perpetrator was as Sasuke slunk his way through his home. He was very confused as to the tidiness and lived in look of the house. Everywhere he looked everything was spotlessly clean and if he remembered correctly some of the furniture was missing. It looked like someone had decided to take over his home. Sasuke was not about to stand for this.

Making his way to the kitchen, he swore he smelt something delicious in that direction; Sasuke rehearsed in his mind some words he felt were appropriate for an intruder. He came to a screeching halt when he saw who was in his kitchen. Once his mind kicked into gear Sasuke realized that it actually made sense that a woman who had confessed her undying love for him before he had left would be fixing what looked to be dinner for him, now that was the type of devotion you looked for in a woman. The dobe must have told her he was coming. Sasuke decided he would still give her a hard time for just assuming she could come into his house and do as she pleased. He hadn't proposed to her yet.

Sasuke clears his throat, alerting her to his presence. The woman pauses in the middle of cutting vegetables and looks up at him. Her jaw drops as a shocked look floods her face and she almost drops her knife.

Though perplexed by the look of surprise on her face Sasuke goes ahead with his original intention of letting her know who's boss. "Sakura, what are you doing here?" Sasuke asks, like he doesn't know she's cooking him dinner.

Sakura regains her composure and her eyes harden as she puts down her knife and turns to add the vegetables to a pot on the stove. Taking a breath to calm herself she replies, "I live here. What are you doing here Sasuke?"

A sound of disbelief escapes Sasuke. "What do you mean you live here?" He says in a condescending tone.

Sakura turns back towards him, her empty arms resting on her stomach. "Exactly what I said, Sasuke. This is my home. I live here with my husband."

"What husband? What are you talking about? You aren't making any sense Sakura." Sasuke's voice grew louder as he scowled at his former teammate.

As if things weren't getting weird enough for Sasuke; his brother Itachi walks into the kitchen from the back looking like he has just finished training. Itachi hasn't noticed him and is staring down at a gash in the shirt he is wearing.

"Hon, have you seen my shirt?" Itachi asks as he removes the now useless shirt he had been wearing.

Sakura grins at Itachi. "Yes I have. How did you get that hole in it?"

"Not that one." Itachi says as he lifts the lid on the pot to see what Sakura is making for dinner. "That one was the tragic result of a training accident." Itachi still hasn't noticed Sasuke, who is now staring at him and Sakura in utter confusion. "I want my favorite shirt, you know the black one."

Sakura giggles, she seems to have forgotten that Sasuke is standing in her kitchen. "All your shirts are black Tachi kun." Sakura gives her husband's hand a little tap so he will put the lid back on the pot. "The one you want is hanging on the line drying."

Sasuke starts to regain his senses enough to start putting some pieces together. The clean house, different furniture, that I-know-something-you-don't look the dobe gave him as he headed home; add those to the facts that Sakura was wearing a wedding band, had the Uchiha fan on her apron, and she was… Sasuke's mind stalled for the second time that day.

Now Sasuke was the one that was shocked. "You're… pregnant?!"

Itachi finally notices Sasuke and slowly walks over to him. "You are going to have to find your own place; we are using your room as the nursery." Itachi finishes his declaration by poking Sasuke in the forehead.

Sasuke's mind cannot take the full impact of what has happened while he was away, and he slumps to the floor. Before the darkness of unconsciousness overcomes him he hears, "Welcome home, foolish little brother."

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A/N: It has felt like forever since I have written anything and what could be better than a piece of complete and utter crack to get my writers block unblocked. Crack is my anti-drug. Now don't that just sound messed up? LOL. :)


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